How to not fit in flawlessly


If I knew how to do anything flawlessly, I would write a book and sell millions of copies to desperate people trying to learn how to do whatever it was so flawlessly.

However, I have learned more and more how to not fit in with ease.

As I said in my introduction, I’m sort of an anomaly. I don’t really fit in to any one stereotype. I’m not crunchy, but some of my choices are. I’m a Mormon, but I am frequently frustrated by the shortsightedness of many of the members of my faith, reject much of “Mormon culture” and have been accused of being “mutli-denominational” and sounding more like a traditional Evangelical Christian than a Latter-day Saint one. Simultaneously, I believe strongly in many new-age hippie ideas and see no contradiction between them and my religion. I am an avowed feminist, but am very anti-feminist movement and am an anti-environmentalist environmentalist.

With all of these contradictions and non-conventions in my life, I’ve spend a good deal of my life not fitting in.

It has not always been easy. I have been pushed by all sorts of people and sometimes it would have been easier to just fold into some mold.

Instead, I have struggled on my own way, taking what is good to me and leaving behind what is not. I am forging my own way. I am becoming a wise woman, trusting me and God together.

I remember my midwife saying to me about 5 months ago that I would make my own path. That’s a large part of why I picked Cathy to help me deliver my baby (little did I know how little help I would need!). She trusted me more than the others I talked to and helped me to trust myself.

And I am not minding not fitting in so much anymore.

That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. It doesn’t mean I don’t walk away from things wondering “Did they like me? Did I come on too strong? Maybe I should’ve tempered that a little bit…” And then I remind myself, No. I am who I am. I try not to be preachy or brash because I don’t want to be that kind of person, but I am not going to hide who I am. If they like me they like me. If not, oh well.

I am genuine and strong and smart and good at being me. I don’t fit in. I don’t even know how. But I am becoming confident in not fitting in.

It’s a skill I hope to pass on to my children. Fitting in is overrated. And if you are happy with how you are, especially when you are different, people wonder why. And then you have a chance to share.

And that is how to not fit in flawlessly.


About laceyluwho

I'm a common-sense, call it like I see it girl who has just one too many opinions for her own good. I was raised by politically involved parents who encouraged me to develop my own thoughts and instilled a sense of civic responsibility.

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