Mamas, perhaps I am possessed of an over abundance of confidence as one who has no idea what the heck she’s doing and doesn’t even know enough to realize it. I do, after all, have only one child and she is, after all, only 16 months.
Much of my knowledge is book learning and I lack practical application.
I have not experienced a difficulty labor or an unwanted c-section or of a birth experience that was stolen from me.
I do not know the heartache of a rebellious and self-destructive teen or being witness to my adult child in an abusive relationship, helpless to help.
I do not know the devastation of losing a child – be that a miscarriage, a stillbirth or a baby who has come earthside and stayed for any amount of time. I do not know the incredible tragedy of potential stolen away from a child with regressive autism, vaccine injury or in some sort of accident.
I do not know the fear of having a premature baby or the struggle of being a mother to one with special needs.
In some of these cases, the closest I get is the lostness of trying to figure out how to comfort and/or support a friend through this. In others, I do not even have a frame of reference.
So, perhaps in my limited experience I am naively and gluttonously overconfident.
However, in this world of “perfect” mommies, having it all and never showing a crack, where we trust pediatricians and school nurses over our instincts and value teacher opinions and “professional” parenting advice authors over our own children’s feedback, I think, perhaps, I am right in saying: You are enough. Quit worrying. Quit fearing. Be human. Be imperfect. Trust yourself and trust your kids. Because you, and they, are enough.
Mamas, be honest. Be fearless.
Don’t let a doctor make you feel inferior because you don’t cry it out or because you cosleep.
Don’t let a principal or teacher tell you your five year old is broken because he doesn’t fit into their rigid school model.
Don’t let the neighbors’ fear and the news’s scare stories prevent you from letting your kids play outdoors because something might happen.
Don’t ignore that pull of concern when your teenager leaves the house with friends you don’t know because you’re the only overprotective parent.
You are enough and more. You are powerful. Being a mother is powerful.
We as women have an unbroken bloodline to a Heavenly Mother, the Goddess of the Universe who stands as Queen with our Heavenly Father the King. We are daughters of the Most High and we have been granted an incredible calling.
We carry on the mission of Eve to be the Mothers of All Living. That role is more than bearing and rearing children but it is so powerful when we fulfill our calling through our children.
For hundreds and thousands of years there were no experts to tell us how to raise kids. There was just grandmother knowledge handed down and instinct. Even today this pattern continues all over the world. The Western Way of doing it is both modern and unproven. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it and don’t be ashamed of it.
The only experts on your children is you and your spouse. Do not substitute anyone else’s judgment if it means subjugating yours or relegating it to a corner.
As for help, learn and grow but don’t be afraid to completely dismiss it if it’s not right for you.
Maybe this post has turned into a rant or a lecture. That’s not my intent. Maybe it’s become one of those posts that starts out positive and ends up preachy. Maybe I shouldn’t write at midnight anymore.
My point is, this world is full of messages that try to make us feel inferior, like we are doing things wrong, like we can’t trust ourselves to figure things out. It is a lie of the most evil kind. It is not an accident. Reject it. Reject anything that makes you feel like you don’t measure up. Reject this post if it makes you feel less.
But do not reject this: You are a mother. You are powerful. You are enough. You are enough.