Category Archives: Motherhood

Leaving Eden

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In my spiritual life, I talk a lot about Eve and lessons learned from Eden. This is a story that resonates with me powerfully and gives lots of room for my interest in symbolism and my imagination and curiosity to thrive.

The lessons I’ve learned from Eve and Eden have been so important to me.

One of those I touched on in another blog post, when I shared that I admired Eve for choosing to leave Eden, for recognizing that it was time for her to leave so she could progress (you can find that here). One of the reasons this resonates with me so much is that in many ways I feel as though I also left Eden. I fell into my own progression over staying somewhere that felt safe to me, but was limiting.

Image courtesy lds.org

Just under four years ago, a group called Ordain Women was organized. I was introduced to it in an LDS message board group not long after. At the time, I fervently rejected the ideas as decidedly anti-Mormon. As much as any other member of the group, I defended the church against these apostate ideas. In our discussions and disagreements, some of the women shared quotes from the early days of the church which supported their position. I was certain they were taken out of context, and so, making use of the church’s Joseph Smith Papers Project, I went to the source. My motives were not pure; I wanted to prove these women wrong and I was sure that the original source would support that.

I’d been through this before. In my late teens, I was introduced to material and documents not friendly to the church. When I looked for an explanation, I found church sources that helped me decided that these issues were overstated, taken out of context, or twisted. Things I couldn’t explain away, I put on a shelf as I’d been counseled to. I put that shelf in a room, locked the door, and threw away the key. It didn’t help my faith and so I chose to set it aside.

So I expected to find the same: overstated, taken out of context, or twisted. However, I was shocked to find out that the quotes were none of these. Instead, they were reasonably supportive of Ordain Women’s position. I was almost instantly humbled. I carried a lot of pride in my faithfulness to and protection of the church and I was wrong. Not only that, now I had serious questions.

At that point, my attitude changed. I didn’t embrace OW, but I no longer believed it was sinful either. I prayed instead to find truth. I was no longer seeking to be right. I feel like this was a case of be careful what you wish for. God took me at my word and gave me more than I realized I was asking for. Much like I imagine Eve and Adam weren’t at all prepared for what came once they left Eden, I wasn’t ready for life outside of Eden.

Within short order, I was knee deep, then waist, then neck deep in study, both history and doctrine-related. And then the church started releasing the essays. Things I’d been introduced to at 19 were suddenly validated instead of explained away.

When I tried to talk about them, I was told I was angry, anti-Mormon, and dangerous. It was very lonely and isolating.

I was kicked out of groups for asking questions or sharing history, trying to make sense of it. I had a “friend” bully me, warn people against me, and threaten to report me to my church leaders for apostasy. Other friends I had made in traditional LDS groups, friends I had grown to love, decided I couldn’t be in their lives anymore.

I was told I was harming others’ testimonies. I’ve been told that recently. Honestly, I don’t know how many times I’ve been told that in the last four years. A lot. No one who’s said that has ever expressed concern about my testimony, though.

My bishop and stake president had few if any answers for me, although they were kind and gracious. My relief society was, and still is, very unfriendly to “doubters.”

My attempts at discussing my faith with my family have been difficult and awkward, both because of our imperfections and because of language and cultural barriers that have developed. I’m sure it’s been uncomfortable for them.

I also have friends who, like me, were asking questions and growing. Unlike me, they didn’t have empathetic bishops and they were excommunicated for their changed beliefs. That was painful and frightening and further isolating. No matter how many conference talks invite people to come to church despite their doubts, when your friend is excommunicated because they believe differently, it makes it much harder to show up and to be honest.

Truthfully, I was angry. I’ve never been anti-Mormon, but I have been angry. The church I loved took a sledgehammer to a shelf I’d built to preserve my relationship with it and then it walked away and left me to pick up the pieces on my own.

Over the last four years, my faith has changed, shifted, been refocused and refined. I don’t consider it a crisis; I’ve had them, when I was 16 and 19, but this was not a crisis. Rather it was a transition and deep growth. In every step, I’ve approached God, seeking guidance from Heavenly Parents who I believe love me more than I comprehend. I’ve tried hard to do what I believe is right.

In many ways, that seeking has lead me unexpected places. I am absolutely a Mormon heretic. There are things that are traditional Mormon belief that I reject and other traditional beliefs that I interpret differently, both unfathomable to me only a few years ago.

I’ve attended the Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) almost as much as I’ve attended my own LDS ward. Our restoration cousins welcomed me, loved me, and asked nothing from me except my friendship in return. I have developed a deep love for them as we share common desires with very different flavors. I am thankful for the temporary shelter they gave me.

In many ways I am heterodox and heteroprax.

In other ways, my faith is stronger (or at least unchanged). I still believe the Book of Mormon has incredible and important messages for us today. I rely on it as much as I ever have. I’ve studied the Doctrine & Covenants and Bible more than I did before, with beautiful results.

I still have a testimony of the restoration, both the things that have been restored and revealed and things currently being restored. I’m sure there is more to come. I believe in prophets, ancient and modern, and that they include Joseph Smith.

I believe my relationship with my Heavenly Parents is better than it’s ever been. Getting to know my Heavenly Mother has been life changing.

I’ve also become a better person. I’m kinder, more apt and able to forgive. I’ve discovered greater empathy for others. Especially as I’ve healed, I judge others’ path less, although I still feel the sting of being told my path is invalid. I’m still imperfect, but I’m a better Christian than I once was.

During my own journey, I’ve walked with others who have left Eden. I’ve seen friends struggle to find their footing after a faith crisis, to stay active and engaged in the church, and, in some cases, resign or be excommunicated. Some of them are new friends, others I’ve known since high school and before. I wonder what the church will become, if it can embrace people like me or if it will continue to isolate us and itself.

I have hope that it will be the former: that we can find strength through diversity and that divergent saints will be welcomed back in with an embrace instead of with expectations that they conform. I have so many hopes and wishes for the church, for my faith of origin, my family within the gospel and those who have felt disenfranchised by faith crises and transitions. I choose faith and hope and love.

Sometimes I wish I could’ve stayed in Eden. Sometimes I long for it so much, to go back to the simple easiness of looking to someone else to act as an intermediary with God. Sometimes I miss having clear, well formed answers right at my fingertips.

But most of the time, I am glad. It is better to experience sorrow, to learn to know the bitter from the sweet. It is better to retain my agency than to hand it over to an organization, to get confirmation from heaven instead of assume God is micromanaging from on high.

To be clear, because there have been questions and I’m sure that there will be others: I have not and am not leaving the LDS church. I love the church, despite it’s flaws. I’m very attached to my LDS identity and beliefs. I’ve added to them and taken things out of the truth basket that never belonged there in the first place.

I’ve left Eden, a place of safety and innocence, where prophets were infallible and errors were small, where God clearly dictated doctrine that was never interpreted incorrectly by mortal servants, where every General Conference talk and printed church manuals were scripture. Eden was a place of knowledge and certainty, where I could check the boxes and go to heaven.

In doing so I have found pain, yes, but also growth and wisdom and a greater understanding of myself and of God. And joy. Incredible, beautiful joy.

I have no doubt that some of my friends and family will read this and be sad for me. You will see this as an apostate manifesto and shake your head that I’ve been deceived by Satan. I expect some of you will view this as an invitation to preach to me, to attempt to save me. I know that some of  you will be hurt. I’ve put off sharing this for so long in part because of that.

I know you don’t understand. I’m sure some of you are afraid for me. I know some of you will see this as pride. Please trust me. Please understand that I meant what I said when I said I took every step to God first. If I’m on the wrong path, I’m going to be very confused when I meet Jesus at the gate. That’s not pride talking. I am genuinely and constantly seeking to do the right thing and genuinely and constantly seeking to not do the wrong thing.

I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still making mistakes and trying to sort out what I’m supposed to be doing, but I believe I’m on a good path, the right one for me. Figuring things out is part of the mortal experience. I believe that God still working with me and guiding me in my journey.

If you want to talk to me about this, I would love to talk to you. I am not interested in being preached to. I don’t need to be saved. But I would love to talk freely about our beliefs. No doubt some of our beliefs will differ; we may even have strong disagreements over certain points. I think we still share many beliefs, though. I won’t try to preach to you or save you either. I may even challenge your faith narrative and ask tough questions, but will respect your path as you respect mine. Again, I would love to talk.

For those of you who are struggling with a faith crisis or transition, please know that I am here. I believe our Heavenly Parents are too. Wherever your path leads, I am here. I have struggled and wrestled with tough topics and beliefs. I’m invested in loving you and supporting your journey.

For those of you who have family or friends experiencing a faith shift, I am here for you too. If you want to know how to help them and love them better, I can help you help them. I’m invested in loving you and supporting your journey.

There are many wonderful resources for you and for your families. I’ve linked a few of my favorites below.

Planted: Belief and Belonging in an Age of Doubt

Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis: A Simple Developmental Map

Healthy Mormon Journeys

Gospel Topics Essays

Joseph Smith Papers

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Lessons from Eden: Allowing the Serpent

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Of late, I’ve been contemplating the Eden Myth and particularly the Serpent in that story.

My upbringing initially gave me a single understanding of the serpent symbol – that of Satan, the devil and deceiver. However, reading the Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites series in my teens (oh, yes, my Mormon is showing), introduced me to the Serpent-Messiah symbol, which adds complexity to the Garden narrative. In fact, it has left me wondering for many years if the “sin” Satan was punished for wasn’t beguiling Eve but stepping in where Christ should’ve been. This is especially true because God gave to Adam ALL the trees of the garden and Eve was never instructed not to eat of the one (having not been created yet when Adam was warned away).

The choice of a serpent is even more interesting to me when its symbolic meaning is evaluated against Jewish/Israelite and other cultures and beliefs. The snake represents rebirth, wisdom, fertility, intellect, and more.

But I digress. My thoughts of late have shifted specifically to wondering who let the snake in. Of course, this is assuming a literal version of events, but follow me anyway.

If God created Eden under any circumstances (as a haven, a place to allow Eve & Adam to learn and grown and “progress” to maturity once they were separated from Heaven, or a place for them to exist in the in-between as long as they chose not to progress further, of as a place for them to live in perpetuity) then God Themselves set the rules.

They could’ve kept the serpent out. They could’ve kept the serpent from beguiling Eve simply by keeping it out.

Think about that. The entire fall was completely preventable with a simple rule change.

The Serpent didn’t sneak past God. It didn’t get there without the knowledge and allowance of Heaven. God, all powerful and all knowing, could’ve prevented not only a fall, but the beguiling of Eve.

They didn’t. That tells me something.

I don’t believe in a God that sets us up to fail. I don’t believe that we are supposed to intuit the rules or receive them second hand.

Clearly, Eve was always intended to take the fruit. She was always intended to allow for our progression. Our Heavenly Parents have no desire to keep us from more light and knowledge. At some point, They let the Serpent in. They let the Serpent “get to” Eve.

To me, Eve’s fall was a carefully thought-out choice but that choice was available to her because God allowed it. To me, it’s a powerful message that we were always meant to progress (and transgress) beyond the boundaries of Eden.

God is not afraid of our rebirth. They are not afraid of our gaining light and truth, wisdom and knowledge, experience and understanding. They teach us line upon line and, in time, they allow the Serpent to appear in our lives. That’s not necessarily a sign that we should turn away (remember the Brazen Serpent and the Messiah-Serpent archetype).

Instead, it may be a sign that we are ready to grow again.

Surrender and trust

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We are waiting for another baby in our house. I’m now “more pregnant” than I was with Miss M. I hope for all of my friends that they (you) always go longer with your first baby than with the second. Something happened in my brain when I hit that date and it kind of sucked. I have really great care providers and friends who talked me out of crazy, but it’s a difficult headspace for me to be in. (Side note: everyone needs at least two or three friends who are birthworkers! They’re the best in this kind of space!)

The reality is, where I’m at right now is a situation I hate to be in: I want to control the uncontrollable. I have to simply be patient, surrender and trust. That is SO hard. So hard. Often when I’m in this space, every bit of anxiety bubbles to the surface. Things I thought I’d resolved pop back up. It’s actually a really wonderful place to be, even though I hate it. It’s a space for growing and learning and making peace.

This space reminds me of the symbolism of a spiral and the spiritual practice of walking a labyrinth: the path is essentially the same. There is only one way in and one way out. There are no choices to be made, only a journey to be taken. As you walk the labyrinth or a spiral path, you often come back to the same point over and over again, but with a different perspective each time. That perspective allows you to understand that point differently, to learn the lesson again more fully, and to learn things that we couldn’t learn before. It’s a powerful opportunity.

It also stinks, to be faced with how stubborn you are and how much the same lessons need to keep coming up. It can be frustrating to see how much you didn’t learn a lesson you thought you had. That frustration is another learning opportunity: one that invites you to be gentle with yourself instead of judgmental and that in doing so to learn how to be more gentle with the other flawed humans we are surrounded by.

A friend of mine commented that we are all smoothing off each others’ edges by bumping into them. We are also afforded this kind of softening opportunity when we bump up against hard boundaries and uncontrollable situations.

Surrender is hard. Trusting God, trusting fate, trusting others, trusting ourselves, especially when we have absolutely no control, is hard. But often it’s the hard things that teach us the best lessons.

Figuring out how to do that well is messy and I’m really ungraceful sometimes. But I’m thankful for that mess and the chance to learn to be more gracious and graceful. Life constantly invites us to learn more. Really the only question we are left with is not whether or not we will be thrust into the situation, but whether or not we will embrace it, even when it’s the last thing we want to do.

For me, that’s what surrender looks like and that’s how I learn.

Lessons from Eve: Filling our cups and choosing progression

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I spend a lot of time thinking about Eve. Perhaps more than any other figure in scripture, except Christ Himself, Eve draws me in. Much of her story is obscured. Outside of Mormonism, she is often disparaged by Christianity. Even within Mormonism, I have heard people refer to her and her choice to take the fruit of knowledge of good and evil in very negative terms, despite our teachings that the fall was integral to the Plan of Salvation.

But I love Eve. Whether her story is an allegory, as much of the Bible is, or whether she is a real person is immaterial to me. Her story is amazing. Because we know so little it, there’s lots of room for interpretation and I spend a lot of time contemplating the space we don’t know, the “what happened” in between what the Bible and church teachings tell us happened.

One of the things I admire about Eve is how she wasn’t willing to “settle” or give up what she needed. Whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, I don’t know. I’ve contemplated it a lot without an answer yet. However, I admire her for it.

At some point, Eve decided it was time for her to progress. She was ready to move on from the Garden. I imagine that before she got to that point, she’d done a lot of walking with God, asking questions, learning what she could. Maybe she and Adam had had lots of conversations about this. I believe they learned a lot together.

Maybe at some point, Adam had said to her “Why do you want to leave this place? It is easy. It has everything we need. Why would we leave?”

Maybe Eve had initially said to him “I will wait for you to be ready, for you to understand why.”

Perhaps she waited patiently for him for eons, learning and growing as much as she could. Perhaps he was learning too, but more slowly or more cautiously.

I wonder if, in their conversations, Eve wanted to leave more quickly, but caution or fear or a lack of understanding made Adam hesitate. Maybe Adam was waiting to be commanded to leave.

Maybe one day, Eve said to Adam, “Our parents are not going to make us go. This has to be our choice, Adam. We have learned all that we can here. We have grown all that we are able. It is time for us to go.”

I don’t mean to make Adam less. Maybe he was right there with Eve. Maybe he was her partner in every way, learning with her right at the same pace. Maybe they were completely united in the decision. When Eve took the fruit, I wonder if Adam was there with her, standing by her side, waiting for her to hand him the fruit.

Perhaps Eve took the fruit first because that was her stewardship, her mission, and Adam couldn’t do it before she had.

Still I wonder: was Eve the driving force in that decision? Was Adam away somewhere, knowing that Eve had decided to leave and trying to decide if he was going to support her in her growth and go with her out of the garden?

What I do know is that Eve stepped forward and took responsibility for her choices, for her progression, for her happiness. She made an impossibly brave choice to follow her heart, her inner wisdom, her intuition and respect her needs and her wants. In pursuing her mission, in filling her cup, she gave us all life and a legacy as women that we should embrace.

Satan would have us think that sacrifice is always the right choice, that giving up what we want and need for someone or something else is always a good thing. That’s not true. Sometimes we need to say “This is what I need and I will honor that.”

There are many lessons that I have learned by pondering about Eve. This is one of them: It is good and it is right to fill our own cups, to not minimize our own needs and to respect our own progression. Even if caring for ourselves means that that our husbands or our children or our church have to sacrifice too, that is ok. Eve was not a martyr.

Perhaps Eve left the Garden for us, but I think she also left the Garden for her.

Independence and overparenting

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Independence and overparenting

As Miss M gets older, I’ve been thinking a lot about free range parenting. That’s definitely my style and I’m loving the independence it’s building in my toddler.

So far, we’ve been really lucky to not have people freak out when they see my two year old running around without mommy right there next to her. In fact, we were at Lagoon on Saturday and she wandered a little bit away and just stood by herself while lots of people came and went around her. Eventually, someone knelt down at eye level to ask if she was lost (I think; I couldn’t hear the conversation), and while a part of me is a little disturbed that it took as long as it did, part of me is glad that I didn’t have to be right there to ward off strangers and she explored a little on her own.

It was so different than an experience I had several months ago.

We took Monkey and two “cousins” to a playground for a couple of hours while our friends went to a concert. While it was a glimpse into what our life could look like if we had had another baby sooner after M, instead of “waiting” longer like we are, it was also an experiment in hands-off parenting. With three kiddos under six, it’s impossible to play “hands on” with each of them. Moreover, grownup-free play is important to child development, even at a young age.

In fact, this situation was the perfect kind of tribal play that evolutionary developmental psychologist Peter Gray champions.

The play area was full of kids. It didn’t occur to me to count, but Mack remarked that it was busy. There were kids that were toddlers, a few who were older (8 and 9ish, possibly older) and most in between. From time to time, I would lose sight of a child as others would get in my sight line or they would climb into a tunnel or behind a structure. For the most part, I could see them, but they couldn’t see me.

These kiddos knew where we were and that we were there if they needed us, but for the most part, they were free to play independently.

We sat outside the playground, instead of on the parent benches within the enclosure where most of the adults were. This wasn’t a problem until Monkey got up somewhere she couldn’t immediately get down from. After only a few moments another parent jumped right in and helped her down.

This “other mother” looked around and then at her friend and said something like “where is her mom?”

It struck me then (once again) how much I am not a helicopter mom. I definitely would’ve stepped in if M had been seriously stuck, but she hardly had a chance to try to work it out herself. It seems that we’re robbing our children of important opportunities to learn.

Free range parenting has come under a lot of scrutiny and even resulted in CPS and other “legal” action against parents who subscribe to it as it’s gained popularity. The crazy thing is, in many ways our lives are safer than they’ve ever been. We’re just extremely risk averse.

One of my many-greats aunts wrote in her journal about their trip across the plains to Utah. She and her friend would depart early, ahead of the handcart company, so they could play on the trail during the day and not get left behind the company. Agnes was nine at the time. It seems a little unbelievable to me that a nine year old could just be trusted like that. Even in my very free range parenting, I’m not sure I’d be ok with my child heading out on her own across the plains of the US unsupervised (and I’ve been out there; there’s still nothing there).

Sometimes I wonder what the cost is. Do we overparent our children into a perpetual childhood? Am I raising a child who will be unable to cope in a society of adults babied first by their parents and then by their government? Am I running a great risk of losing my child to a CPS worker because I admit on a public blog I let her wander even a little ways off at a crowded amusement park? I really worry about all these things.

No doubt we’re all doing our best. Even the other mom was just stepping in to make sure my child was ok. I want my kids to be empowered and independent (age appropriately so), not always looking to me for rescuing. I think a more free range attitude does that. As I’ve let go and let M explore, I’ve been amazed to find out how capable even a 2 year old can be. It’s exciting to see. I can’t wait for more to come!

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Photo from Fox13

 

Trying to keep track

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We have a terribly bad habit in my extended family: we don’t really keep personal records. I have an aunt who is a professional genealogist, but she “married in” and is not related by blood. Beyond that, I don’t think any of us are really good record keepers (I took an informal survey of my family on Facebook and most of us admitted to “trying” and doing it in stops and starts but not with real consistency).

In some ways, it’s not our “fault” as this bad habit has been passed down from our ancestors (and, yes, the irony in that strikes me), according to my mother. For example, Elizabeth Caldwell, a grandmother of mine, who came to Utah with the Willie Handcart Company, wrote little to nothing of her experience. Meanwhile, her sister, Agnes (who is an aunt), was much more prolific and her stories have been told repeatedly in LDS general conferences, the movie 17 Miracles and elsewhere. Elizabeth was one of many who passed down bad habits.

I come by this weakness doubly cursed. My father’s family kept very few records and most of the little I know about my ancestry on that side comes from government records and the occasional story from a long lost cousin (who could share about my ancestors because his ancestors mentioned them in journals). My grandfather saw so little point in family history, he threw away boxes of it (a thought that still makes me want to throw up).

This lack of family record keeping makes me sad, especially as I try to get to know my ancestor better. I want my own children to know more than I do about who they are and where they came from and I want to know the angels who surround me better. I’m also a writer and I feel like if anyone is going to do a decent job of keeping a written record, it “should” be me, the writer.

More than any of that, though, I want to remember my own life better and keep better records of my children as they grow. I want my children and grandchildren to know who I was and how I became who I am.

I recently purchased a “one line a day” journal in an attempt to help me along. I’m finding that it’s helpful to have, although it definitely doesn’t automatically make a habit. Rather than doing it daily, I’m finding time every week or two and while I remember “big” things, I’m left with a lot of holes.

In fact, that’s bee the most disturbing thing to me: there are many days I don’t remember a single thing that happened and that those days I’m forgetting are just a week or two prior. There are literally huge blocks of my life which I have completely forgotten.

It’s a horrifying thought to me.

It also leaves me sad as a mom because that means that there are blocks of my child’s life I’m forgetting. There are things I want to remember, but can’t because there’s not space in my brain and I’m not writing them down.

I even have a journal for Little Miss because I wanted to keep track of “things” and I wanted her to know who she was as tiny human person. I write in it rarely and while I’d rather spend time with Little Miss than write in her journal, I know when I have time, I’m choosing to make other choices. I’m trying to let go of the mommy guilt on that one, but I’ll admit I sometimes feel like a bad mom because of it.

As I’ve been evaluating my own record keeping, I’m learning that I want to keep better records as much for me as for anyone else.

I’m trying to keep track of my life better. Photos, videos and journal writing – even one sentence journals – are some of the ways I’m trying to do that.

Maybe one day my great-grandkids won’t curse me the way I curse my great (great, great, great, great)-grandparents and perhaps I’ll be able to hold onto the fleeting moments a little better.

Journal

Lessons from the Nativity

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Have I shared how much I love Christmas? I hate and despise winter with every bit of me but I love Christmas with equal intensity. It’s a magical time where I get to buy gifts for those I love (giving gifts is one of my love languages), spend time with family, follow traditions and rituals I love and turn my mind to Christ. Love is a big element of Christmastime.

This year as I’ve been preparing for Christmas, I have been impressed repeatedly by the story of the Nativity and what it has to teach us. I want to share a few of those with you.

Lesson from Mary

Mary shows us the ultimate humility of anyone except for perhaps Christ and more courage than anyone other than Eve when she says to Gabriel “Behold the handmaid of the Lord;…” Later, Mary travels with Joesph to Bethlehem. There, her baby is born in a stable, amongst animals, probably without the birth attendants of her choice (which likely her mother and sisters and the midwife who had cared for her in the beginning of her pregnancy). After childbirth, Mary received guests (the shepherds and probably others) to greet her newborn son. This was usually a time when women were somewhat isolated as they were “impure” (which is a really amazing study topic if you have some time and not associated with sinfulness like we may think), and here she was receiving guests! Now I’m not suggesting she was up on her feet, fixing meals or refreshments, but the grace Mary must have had to receive these strangers teaches me to be more generous with others in my life. Her humility to be the Mother of Christ, to bear the trials which came with that calling and welcome the worshipers who were sent at one of the most sensitive and vulnerable times of her life reminds me to be humble as my Heavenly Parents and Savior shape me into who They want me to be.

Mary also teaches me to be thoughtful, meditative and reflective. In possibly one of the most beautiful scriptures about spiritual experiences, we learn “Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” By pondering, I create space for God to teach me more about experiences I’m given to help me grow.

Lessons from the midwives

I have to read between the lines a little here, but as a birth worker, I’m well familiar with the fact that Mary was probably attended to by midwives and gave birth in a stable or a home. Her sisters- and mother-in-law were probably there as well. It’s possible that they weren’t planning on attending to Mary who lived in Nazareth (about 70-80 miles away). It’s likely that Mary had been in Bethlehem a few weeks before her baby was born but the midwife there probably hadn’t had a lot of time getting to know Mary. This untold story teaches me to be willing to helping those in need, no matter what circumstance we find our lives cross paths or how much or little I was planning on being of aid. It also teaches me to be open to opportunities to serve whenever they come.

They also teach me that just as men witnessed the Christ child, so did women. That’s a powerful message of equality in a world which largely ignores or misunderstands the contributions of women to the work of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Lessons from the shepherds and the wise men

Christ was actually likely born in the spring. This was “lambing season” when mother ewes were giving birth. This was (is) a very intense time of the year for shepherds. However, at the angels’ direction, the shepherds “came with haste” to find Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. I don’t know if they left their sheep all at once, or if they took turns, but they all left their livelihoods and something that was very important to them at a very critical time.

Similarly, the wise men left their livelihoods and lives and traveled a far distance to meet Jesus. Their journey was not short and was likely expensive. These stories teach me that following Christ is something worth giving up everything that’s seemingly important. This is a lesson repeated throughout the nativity (with Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, the wise men and Anna) but also throughout the scriptures as Christ calls apostles and disciples to follow Him.

The shepherds were also ordinary people. They weren’t Jewish religious leaders or important rulers. They were humble men without much to garner them an invitation to the most important event in all of history. Similarly, the wise men were foreigners, possibly even gentiles from Babylon, who would’ve been looked down upon by the Jews no matter their status in their own kingdom (where they were probably admired and respected). This teaches me that Christ doesn’t just want to speak to the leaders of the church or those who are deemed appropriate or worthy by “the world” (and that includes the body of the Church). Christ reveals himself to the mighty and the small, the poor and the wealthy, those who lead a church and those who never do “more” than show up to worship. Anyone who will hear the call to come to Him are welcome.

Lessons from Christ

Christ came to earth in the humblest of circumstances. He became an infant, tiny and helpless, descending physically to the lowest a human can be, utterly dependent on another for care. He became as we are in order to do the Father’s will. Like the shepherds and the wise men He gave up everything to come serve us. As He grew, He learned grace by grace, not all at once, just as we do. He became like us so that we can become like Him. He was willing to submit to all things, including the complete loss of autonomy and self-sufficiency, to follow God’s plan. The message couldn’t be clearer to me: following Christ means being willing to recognize our infant state and our complete and utter dependence on someone else (Him) for our salvation.

 

The nativity holds so many other lessons for me, too many to tell here. It’s a beautiful story with so much complexity and depth, with untold stories and silent lessons waiting to be discovered.

At this time of darkness, we celebrate the greatest Light of the world. He is the way, the truth and the light, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, the Prince of Peace, the Redeemer of Israel and the Savior of my soul. Christ came to earth a baby, as we all did, and became what we all hope one day to be. He shows the way and He enables our salvation as we come to Him and be perfected by his blood.

Merry Christmas. May the light of Christ shine on you at this season and always.

Image credit: the Mormon Channel and Simon Dewey.

Image credit: the Mormon Channel and Simon Dewey.